3.09.2009

So, here I am.

I'm kind of in this relationship.  I don't really know what we are and I honestly don't care. That's not saying that I don't like him- I do, or at least I like spending time with him.  That's the same, right?  I don't know.  Anyway, people keep asking me, "how's it going?".  I say good- because it is.  This is then followed by an inquisitive "...and?"  And, what?  What do they want to hear?  

I've never been conventional, so why would they suddenly expect convention?  Actually, I'm probably even less conventional since being in Ukraine.  Things are going well with this guy, at least from my perspective.  We have fun.  He busts my balls.  We share similar values and aesthetics.  He listens to good music.  He's smart.  He challenges and inspires me.  I have a friend.  That's good.  It's organic.  

I don't even know if I want anything more than what we have. Maybe. But, I just don't know (why are people always afraid of this answer?) I'm in a new and different place and figuring out how it all fits together with my "new eyes".  I've got a lot of soon-to-be changes (I hope) in front of me.  For now, this is the only part of my life that seems to be working, but once the dynamic changes, everything will be rearranged.   Plus, he's a stranger in a strange city too; I can definitely empathize with this situation.  

I guess what I'm saying is there are a lot of "I don't knows" in my life currently, so, why not let this be what it is- something with a definitive answer.

Good, with no "and....".

No comments: