Just had a three-hour conversation with my only "real" ex-boyfriend. While we only talk once every six months, it's always somewhat refreshing to talk to him. He somehow makes me feel good about myself because a) he compliments me and b) I feel I am a better person than him. I know this second reason is selfish, but I don't care.
We had a terrible break up, mostly from my perspective because I got my heart broken. Bad. And I found out tonight that one of the girls who he cheated on me with was a stripper--who he got pregnant.
Now I knew most of the hour-long "truth" story he decided to tell me tonight; I was able to piece together a lot of it over the past 5 years, but the pieces that I never knew were a) she was a stripper and b) she was pregnant. That's some serious shit.
Forgive. Forget. It's kind of all bullshit. What I realized was that my heart took a long time to heal, but it's healed. And really, it's a fucked up story regardless of the details. I don't care about him enough to care either way. And that feels good.
He hoped that the truth would set him free and make me fall in love with him again. The thing is, sometimes the truth shall NOT set you free. And...I don't believe in that "fall in/out of love" rhetoric.
It feels great to know that some things don't matter to me anymore. Or people for that matter; and that truth sets me free.
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some thoughts and (mis)adventures
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