Some recent observations:
1. If you see an ear on the ground, it's real. There are no fake ear gags here.
2. The word for vacuum is pillosauce. Coincidence? Gross?
3. You can never have enough florescent fake flowers or clocks set to the wrong time. Or can you?
4. If somebody asks you if you want some potatoes, they'll give you enough to feed the Red Army. I don't know how many potatoes they think a single girl can eat.
5. If a tree is in the middle of the road, it's not growing there naturally. It's a warning that the road is under construction.
6. If you're a woman and you smoke, walk alone, or get a taxi, you are a prostitute. Looks like I'm the dirtiest whore in town.
7. Everyone knows what I eat because whatever I buy at the market is conversation the next day around town.
8. Ukrainians love banana bread and mayonnaise with anything and everything.
9. Example: a "shuba" (fur coat) salad- anchovies, beets, sour cream, cabbage, peas, egg, and mayonnaise. Fucking NAST! But they sure have a sense of humor.
10. The rubbery lump in your soup is chicken heart.
11. Trash cans?
12. This is a tribute to my mother: She always said that it hurts to be beautiful, but does that include a blitzkrieg by turkeys? Apparently the don't like red or magenta. But, it's such a cute scarf.